15 Comments
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Willow's avatar

Beautifully expressed like you do so well🤍, on a really difficult subject. I also suffered from PMDD, I became a different person, Tainted with pain anger and no self worth and the physical...I'm glad it was cathartic..also so many minimise this horrible hormonal thing!

Especially with having body/eating issues, it brings all of it to the fore and you feel your flesh almost growing daily.

I took hormonal balance tablets and evening oil of primrose, taped heat pads to my abdomen and back...I didn't suffer so much after giving birth, but obviously that isnt the answer. I still take these things, they seem to help, also I'm older than you so maybe that's a factor...

Really appreciate you sharing this and it also helps anyone else that may deal with this and feel isolated with it 🫂🖤💗

Olivia Johnson's avatar

Thank you Willow 💓💓💓

You always give the such empathy and deeply thoughtful words. I really appreciate you.

Exactly, you can feel the flesh growing by the daily, it does bring it to the forefront of your mind.

I know you also want to say I appreciate you acknowledging that it was extremely difficult to write about. I was feeling like this was my most challenging article yet, and I was thinking probably because I’m in PMDD while writing it but it’s nice to hear that the topic itself is hard from somebody else’s perspective 🙏🥹

I’ve heard Primrose now from several sources so I will definitely give that a try as well as other natural remedies to help balance this. I think I’m going to try seed cycling as well. Thank you for the suggestions!

Willow's avatar

Thats ok Olivia...I like to try and respond to things that another person is being open about. Yes primrose oil helped but of course we are all different but being in that place , knowing you are, yet still feel all those awful things ..its hellish💖❤️‍🩹

Olivia Johnson's avatar

Truly is hellish! I hope it gets better! Willow I appreciate your suggestions and I’m sure they will help. And your responses are so appreciated. 🥹❤️

Willow's avatar

Yes it will get better! 🫂💗

Ana Cristina Caelen's avatar

Olivia, I just want to witness you in all of what you brought forth in this post; the many feelings, voices, moments, challenges and possibilities. I read you and feel this wholeness resonate, one that has the capacity to move through so much and at the same time continue to cultivate a deep relationship with the body even when there is pain. I don't know why, but I wish I could just sing a song to you. Since I cannot, I will hum at the end of this reply and hope it reaches you. Sending you love.

Olivia Johnson's avatar

Awh 🥹 I would love a song from you Ana 💓💓💓 I have deep gratitude for your feedback and your ability to see the complexity that I was trying to portray, our human experience is so multilayered, and there are many possibilities woven within even the most painful experiences. It makes my heart sing to hear that it translated in this way for you. Which is exactly how I intended it. 🙏 so much love for you Ana!

Ani Marie McIntosh's avatar

Have you ever heard of seed cycling? I tried it in my twenties and it noticeably helped regulate my hormones quickly. I forget exactly but each of the four weeks of your cycle you eat a tablespoon of a respective seed, flax pumpkin, sesame and…? Anyway I can’t digest seeds currently otherwise I’d be doing it. I know how hard it is to get off hormone meds. Takes some time to detox and recalibrate.

Olivia Johnson's avatar

I have heard of it! I’m actually getting ready to start that protocol right now! I’m hoping it helps, I did all the research I can. I’m sorry you’re not able to digest seeds at this point 😣 I go on and off with that, if I have too many nuts and seeds I definitely have tummy troubles as well, so I feel you! so I’ll give it a go and keep you posted! Thanks for the suggestion.🙏

+ yes omg it’s why I take pharmaceuticals kind of as a last resort, I hadn’t heard of seed cycling or I would’ve tried that first lol. The whole process of coming back from it is a journey. 😵‍💫

Kate Smedley's avatar

Thank you for writing so openly on this Olivia. I don't have PMDD, but live with a rare bleeding disorder. My periods would last for weeks, leading to anaemia and hospital admission, until it was taken seriously. On more than one occasion, they assumed I was having a miscarriage. We need to raise awareness of the conditions that affect women's wellbeing and health so severely.

Olivia Johnson's avatar

That sounds so incredibly scary Kate, I’m so sorry you had to go through that and that you weren’t taken seriously right away!

I couldn’t agree more! A lot of women’s health conditions can be overlooked, especially once involving our cycle.

❤️‍🩹

Kate Smedley's avatar

Thanks Olivia, I know I’m not alone in having to advocate for my health. We need more women who are brave enough to name what they live with, keep sharing your words. 💕

Olivia Johnson's avatar

Yes, Kate, We have to give voice to the silent experiences we have. There’s so much power I feel and naming what you live with, just of act of that expression can heal so much! Thank you for all of your kindness and encouragement 🥹💓

ThePurplePerson's avatar

Amazing writing, Olivia! Thank you so much for your honesty! 💜

I have a couple things that may help you and others who are struggling feel more comfortable.

Raspberry leaf tea, magnesium glycinate, and look into seed cycling to help balance hormones. The book The Period Repair Manual was an immense help for me too.

Olivia Johnson's avatar

Amazing suggestions. Thank you Lacy! I will try all of the above ❤️